


Roy's Toys

by nochick_fics



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 18:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14720942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nochick_fics/pseuds/nochick_fics
Summary: Next time, Jean will think twice about loaning a lighter to Roy.





	Roy's Toys

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2014.

Roy stared at the dozen or so boxes that were strewn across the basement floor, relics of a time when he and Ed first moved in together and were under the naive impression that they would actually get around to unpacking everything that they brought with them. With a sigh of frustration, he opened the box closest to him and started pulling out various articles of clothing that he forgot he even owned.  
  
“Damn it, Havoc. I bet you have a thousand lighters.” Roy looked at his friend and found him nosing through a box that was filled with Ed’s old alchemy books. “Why do you need this one in particular?”  
  
“Because it has sentimental value,” Jean said. “Someone very special gave it to me.”  
  
“And where is this 'someone very special' now?”  
  
Jean lit a cigarette before responding. “She dumped me,” he muttered.  “But that’s beside the point.”  
  
Having no luck with the first box he checked, the smoking man moved on to the next one, which was labeled…  
  
“Roy’s Toys?”  
  
Roy’s head snapped up. He gaped at Jean, horrified. “Havoc, don’t open that--!”  
  
Too late. By the time Roy spoke those words, Jean had already pulled out a pair of black leather chaps.  
  
 _Assless_  black leather chaps.  
  
And a matching open mouth hood.  
  
“Those are… for… Halloween,” Roy tried to explain.  
  
Next came the anal beads.  
  
“Uh… Mardi Gras,” he added.  
  
A slave collar.  
  
“Fourth of July.”  
  
A studded paddle.  
  
“Presidents’ Day?”  
  
A spider gag.  
  
“Christmas.” It actually  _was_  a Christmas gift from Ed, so he wasn’t too far off the mark on that one.  
  
Then there were the harnesses and the dildos and the butt plugs.  _So many_  harnesses and dildos and butt plugs.  
  
And finally...  
  
“Oh, yeah.” Roy looked at the lighter in Jean’s hand, having forgotten until that very moment that it was boxed up with the rest of his goodies.  
  
“Do I even want to know why this was packed away with all of  _that?_ ” Jean asked, motioning towards the sea of black leather and latex. “Please tell me that you weren’t doing anything weird with my lighter.”  
  
Roy stared at his friend.  
  
And then he smiled.  
  
“Well, that depends on your definition of weird.”


End file.
